(Presented with apologies to people named Jones, people named Tomlinson and some people named Palin.)

GOVERNOR:

I’m Republican, and I’m okay.
I hate to think ‘cos I’d rather pray.

McCAIN STAFFERS:

She’s Republican, and she’s okay.
She hates to think ‘cos she’d rather pray.

GOVERNOR:

I cut down tax. I fund pipelines.
I go on safari.
I shoot at wolves from choppers
And have buttered scones for tea.

McCAIN STAFFERS:

She cuts down tax.  She funds pipelines.
She goes on “safari”.
She shoots at wolves from choppers
And has buttered scones for tea.

CHORUS:

She’s Republican, and she’s okay.
She hates to think ‘cos she’d rather pray.

GOVERNOR:

I cut bridge cash, and climate change
I think is just hot air.
I put out for big oil,
And kill the polar bear.

McCAIN STAFFERS:

She cuts bridge cash, and climate change
She thinks is just hot air.
She puts out for big oil,
And kills the polar bear?!?!(McCain staffers leave stage)

GOVERNOR:, reluctantly joined by McCAIN STAFFERS in CHORUS:

She’s Republican, and she’s okay.
She hates to think ‘cos she’d rather pray.

GOVERNOR:

I cut down trees. I use my power,
To bully those I hate.
I wish I’d known the press,
Would call it Troopergate.

McCAIN STAFFERS:

She cuts down trees. She uses power,
To bully those she hates?!?!?!(McCain staffers leave stage, angrily blaming each other for failing to vet Governor…)

GOVERNOR: (on a now-empty stage):

I’m Republican, and I’m okay.
I hate to think ‘cos I’d rather pray.No, really I do…