Australians are, on the whole, a plain-spoken people. We value truth telling and honesty, seeing them as the foundation of trust (and thus, of that must Australian of secular values, of ‘mateship’). And we honour those who are honest and truthful (although usually not until they’re safely dead – Paul Keating may have been right about ‘the recession we had to have’, but no historian’s going to admit that while that most pompous of prognosticators is still giving four hour interviews).

Which brings us to Fawkner.

Which is, of course, named for Guido “Guy” Fawkes, famed throughout the Commonwealth of Nations as ‘the only man to enter Parliament with honest intentions’ (i.e. he honestly intended to blow it the hell up). There is a certain irony in a suburb historically so very Protestant (and currently, so very Islamic) being named in honour of a man who sought to establish a Catholic state in Britain, but let that pass. Australians generally care little for irony.

For that reason, it’s unlikely that the fact that Fawkner is home to so many who, like the suburb’s namesake, are destined to be remembered (if at all) for their failure to successfully commit crimes is much appreciated by the residents, or indeed, by Australians as a whole.

Suburbs near Fawkner: