June 6, 1835 — John Batman makes a treaty with the Wurundjeri people

John Batman was a Tasmanian who organised a syndicate of investors to fund him and some other settlers to build a new village on the banks of the Yarra River. Of course, this land was already occupied by the tribes of the Kulin nation, primarily the Wurundjeri and Boonwurrung, each of which greatly outnumbered the small group of settlers Batman led. Thus, Batman made a deal with the chiefs of the Wurundjeri, purchasing a small stretch of land. In time, the village would become Melbourne (today a metropolis of more than four million people, very few of them members of the Wurundjeri or other Kulin peoples).

However, there are many grounds on which to dispute Batman’s treaty. It is a matter of some dispute whether the tribesmen Batman dealt with understood the deal they were making in the same way Batman did – among the Kulin people, as among most Australian Aboriginal peoples, land was not owned by individuals in the same way it was by Europeans. Legally, even by the standards of colonial empires, Batman was also on shaky ground, as he had no authority from the Crown to make such a deal. And while it does appear that, at least to start with, the colonists made efforts to deal in good faith with the various Kulin peoples, misunderstandings were inevitable between two such disparate peoples, leading to bloodshed on several occasions. Later colonists, who were not party to the original deal, treated the Kulin (and in time, the other native peoples of Victoria) much worse. Batman, like so many of the natives, was dead by then.

Batman signs treaty artist impression
As mentioned in:
Solid Rock — Goanna

Giagra

Giagra was sold through classified ads in some of the more dubious porn magazines. It was a penis enlarging drug that not only lacked FDA approval but actually boasted about the fact in its advertisements. Unsurprisingly, this led the FDA to raid the headquarters of Dopecom, manufacturers of Giagra, and shut them down.

The recommended dose is a quarter ounce a day. Exceeding the recommended daily dose of Giagra can cause side effects such as heart palpitations and blurred vision. A young man named Richard Head broke into the Dopeco factory and was mutated into a human-sized and -shaped penis capable of ejaculating through the hole on the top of his head after falling into a vat of Giagra. He became a supervillain under the name Dick Head.

Fire Protection Potion

Fire Protection Potion – also known as Ice Potion – is a potion that protects the imbiber from the effects of naked flames, whether natural or magical. It is generally purple or black in colour, and known ingredients of the potion include bursting mushrooms, salamander blood and wartcap powder, although it is clear that there are other ingredients in addition to these.

When drunk, Fire Protection Potion gives the imbiber intense chills, sometimes described as feeling like ice flooding their body. Its effects are relatively short lived, but near to absolute while they last.

Related Drugs: Elixir of life and Weedosoros

Dyziplen

Kimmy Schmidt

Dyziplen is the trade name of the behaviour-modifying drug Nitrosedaticam Dedehydro Epoxy Methylmorphixan Diacectate Calminhydrate. Sold in the form of 400mg capsules, Dyziplen is the latest and most fashionable treatment for misbehaving children among the wealthy trophy wives of Manhattan. It is the go-to treatment for hyperactivity, ADHD and Kanye West Spectrum Disorder. It’s not handed out as the treatment for a particular diagnosis, but just for kids who are, you know, inconveniently behaving like kids.

Dyziplen takes a little while to kick in, but once it does, it turns the user into a polite, well-spoken, emotionless, slow-moving automaton who is incapable of recognising music or colour. It’s very likely that a certain amount of bribery caused this dangerously strong chemical to be fast-tracked through the approvals process by the FDA.

1969 — The ‘Bloody Thursday’ protest march is broken up by the police

The People’s Park in Berkeley was first created in 1969. The site was formerly occupied by houses, but those began to be demolished pending redevelopment by the University of California in February 1968. However, the money ran out. Only partially demolished, the site was allowed to sit derelict for more than a year. In April 1969, the site was occupied by a mixed of group of local residents and political activists who declared it the People’s Park. The university was caught off-guard by this, but negotiated with the occupiers, eventually promising to notify and consult them before proceeding with any developments.

Governor of California, Ronald Reagan, regarded this agreement as an outrageous capitulation to people he characterised as “communist sympathizers, protesters, and sex deviants.” On Thursday, May 15, 1969, he dispatched officers of the Califorian Highway Patrol and the Berkeley police precinct to clear the park, which they entered at 4:30 in the morning. But the occupiers resisted, and more protestors arrived to aid in the struggle. By midday, more than 3000 people had gathered in an attempt to reclaim the now fenced-off park from the 159 law enforcement personnel assigned to patrol its borders. Protestors threw rocks and bottles at police, police fired pepper gas and tear gas canisters at protestors, and the situation deteriorated.

Both sides were reinforced by new arrivals, bringing the total number of police to 791 and the total of protestors to more than 4000. Police began to fire shotguns into the crowd, causing more than 100 injuries (129 hospital admissions and an unknown number of unreported injuries). One protestor, a UC Berkeley student named James Rector, was killed in the struggle. Undeterred, Reagan sent 2700 National Guard troops to restore order that evening, declaring a curfew throughout Berkeley and arresting large numbers of students, hippies and other ‘suspicious characters’. The following April, Reagan publicly said of the incident “If it takes a bloodbath, let’s get it over with.” He remains a hero of the Republican Party to this day.

Referenced in:

What’s Going On — Marvin Gaye

1939 — Harvey Keitel born

One of those rare actors to not use a screen name, Harvey Keitel was a US Marine and later a court reporter before he became an actor. He first began to get attention for his roles in some of Martin Scorcese’s early films, such as Mean Streets and Taxi Driver. His career took a downturn after he was replaced by Martin Sheen on the set of Apocalypse Now after only a week of filming, although Keitel remained a prolific supporting actor for years.

It was not until 1992, when he played the role of Mr White in Quentin Tarantino’s Reservoir Dogs, that his career really took off again. Throughout the Nineties, Keitel was one of the most well-known and respected actors in Hollywood, having starred or guests in some of the highest profile films of the decade.

Referenced in:

The Chanukah Song (Part II) — Adam Sandler

Weedosoros

Weedosoros is a magical poison, taught a Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Little is known about it, other than that it was one of the many potions used by Severus Snape.

Related Drugs: Fire Protection Potion and Weedosoros

Update: Period Ending May 9, 2016

Well, that took a while.

There’s considerable upheaval here at The Centre Cannot Hold, which is living up to its name. The Rock’n’Roll History of the World is getting a makeover (largely aimed at simplifying the site), and some parts of the site – notably the Trade Paperback Timelines and Crossover Reading Orders – are being gradually moved away to a new site. This new site is at Reading Orders, and each timeline is being moved, reformatted and (if necessary) updated. (The old pages hosting this material will be updated with pointers to the new site.)

There’s a good chance of this site getting re-skinned in the near future, but there should be no other changes to the content here.

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