Rock n Roll History of the World

The short version: in the beginning, there was nothing, which then exploded.

The longer version: all the matter in the universe was compressed into the smallest possible volume. Try to understand that this is so much matter that the force of gravity warps the laws of physics as we know them. The whole thing is is under so much pressure that it explodes – forming the universe as we know it as the laws of physics change radically from picosecond to picosecond, and eventually energy cools and congeals into matter.

It’s like they say: “it all started with the Big Bang”

Referenced in:

The Big Bang Theory – Bare Naked Ladies

The majestic oceans of planet Earth were formed neither quickly nor simply. It took literally millions of years between the first surface water’s appearance and the creation of the primordial sea.

Several factors contributed to this: the gradual cooling of the Earth was the first and most important, but also important was the slow release of water from existing minerals, the condensation of steam, and even the addition of water in the form of ice from occasional cometary collisions with the planet.

The first waters soon became the habitat of early prokaryotes – whose biochemical processes led to the formation of still more water. Indeed, it is possible that the majority of water on the planet today exists as a result of these organisms.

Referenced in:

The Big Bang Theory – Bare Naked Ladies

Everyone loves the dinosaurs. A lot of people – if the Jurassic Park films are to be believed – would like to see them come back. But without their extinction, we wouldn’t be here today.

Even now, it’s still not clear what exactly caused the extinction event – but the best known hypothesis is that of Luis and Walter Alvarez, which states that a meteoric or cometary impact caused a nuclear winter-like effect that altered the climate drastically, wiping out something like 75% of all species alive at the time. The effects were particularly felt by larger species – which included most dinosaurs.

In the wake of the event, now open evolutionary niches were occupied by mammals and birds, including our own ancestors.

Referenced in:

The Big Bang Theory – Barenaked Ladies

Note: there is no dated entry for today’s date, so I have chosen instead to include an event which, although it manifestly occurred, is impossible to date.

Not actually true mammals, but instead mammaliformes, the members of the sub-class Allotheria are distinguished from other mammals chiefly by their dentition, which featured lower molariform teeth equipped with two longitudinal rows of cusps. Extant from the Late Triassic through to the Early Oligocene, the Allotheria were rodent-like animals in appearance.

They were widespread, found on all continents including Antarctica (which was considerably warmer in this era), and included in their ranks herbivores, carnivores and omnivores. Unfortunately for biodiversity, the last of them died out between 33.9 and 28.4 million years ago, give or take 100,000 years.

Referenced in:

Mammal – They Might Be Giants

In the traditions of the Indigenous Australian peoples, their ancestors were created with the land, at the dawn of what is called the Dreamtime, the Dreaming or Alterjinga.

Science tells it a little differently. The original ancestors of the people now known as the Australian Aboriginals emigrated to Australia at some point between 40,000 and 120,000 years ago. Due to the wide variation of dates, it is unclear whether they arrived here after a sea crossing, or via a landbridge now submerged. It is not known where they first set foot in Australia, nor how many separate waves of migration occurred.

What is for certain is that these people dwelt in Australia with little or no contact with the rest of the world (the Macassar fishing fleets being one of the few exceptions), for thousands of years before European settlement in 1788. Whether or not one accepts the Dreamtime legend, there remains an undeniable case for considering them to be the traditional owners of the land, displaced and disenfranchised by European imperialism.

Referenced in:

Solid Rock – Goanna

The most recent Ice Age – or more precisely, the most recent glacial maximum of the current Ice Age – ended a little under 10,000 years ago, having lasted some 70,000 years itself. The abrupt climactic changes (abrupt in a geological sense) contributed to mass extinctions of various animal species, notably the woolly mammoth, although it is also believed that hunting by early humans also contributed to at least some of these extinctions.

In geological terms, the end of the last Ice Age is recorded as the transition from the Pleistocene to the Holocene epochs.

Referenced in:

In The Days Of The Caveman – Crash Test Dummies

It’s Atlantis. Everyone knows the basics: an advanced civilisation on a large island or small continent in the Atlantic Ocean, sunk beneath the ocean in a single day.

The Atlantis story originated in two works by Plato, the Critias and the Timaeus. These tell the story of Atlantis – created by the sons of Poseidon, ruled the world as an economic superpower, and finally destroyed by the gods of Olympus for its hubris.

Of course, so far as anyone can tell, Atlantis never truly existed. It was a myth, a parable regarding the dangers of arrogance and pride.

Pity, really.

Referenced in:
Atlantis – Donovan
Atlantis Falling – Iron Savior
Atlantis to Interzone – Klaxons

More than a year after he had departed, and after numerous adventures, after triumphs and losses, Bilbo Baggins returned to his home of Bag End, in the Shire. His long adventures there and back again are completed; he carries with him the One Ring (albeit not yet recognised as such), and believes that all his troubles lie behind him.

He is mildly discombobulated to discover that he has been declared dead and that certain of his relatives are attempting to claim his possessions. The matter is soon sorted out, although Bilbo’s penchant for adventures, the strange company he keeps (elves, dwarves and even wizards come to visit at times), and, we must suppose, a certain jealousy of his wealth, do little to endear him to most other hobbits.

Referenced in:

The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins – Leonard Nimoy

At long last, weary of Middle Earth, the majority of the remaining Noldor Elves take ship for the Uttermost West. Their company includes the bearers of the three Elven Rings; Galadriel, Elrond and Gandalf; and also the hobbits Bilbo and Frodo Baggins, who carried the One Ring.

It is an occasion both of sadness and of the rewards of victory, as the peace of the West means forsaking Middle Earth and all there whom they love, forevermore. The departure is witnessed by Frodo’s three closest friends, Merry, Pippin and Sam Gamgee.

Referenced in:

Into the West – Annie Lennox