The Centre Cannot Hold » Aphrodisiacs

Love

Loki — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 21:30:19 +0000

Aside from cocaine, Love is the drug that the Seventies ran on. Although in practice, it was a lot more like Lust, or perhaps Sex Addiction.

Unlike the majority of other drugs I’ve listed here, Love has the advantage of being street legal – although like most drugs, you should still exercise some caution in when and where you choose to indulge

Love Potion No. 9

Loki — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 07:30:28 +0000

Love Potion No. 9 is an aphrodisiac of undeniable potency, and great caution is urged in its use. It is a deep black in colour and smells not unlike turpentine.

As far as can be told, it is sold only by Madame Rue, a gypsy reader of palms and maker of potions who, as of 1959, lived at a place on the corner of Vine St and 34th St (now Jefferson Boulevard) in Los Angeles.

It induces feelings of extreme amorousness in those who imbibe it, although how long these last and the appropriate dosage are details lost in the mists of time. Lost with them, apparently, are Love Potions No. 1 through 8, whose existence can be assumed from this Potion’s number.

MDA-Cubed

Loki — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 21:30:14 +0000

Perhaps the ultimate aphrrodisiac, MDA-Cubed is a spectacularly potent date-rape drug that heightens the sexual impulse to the level of insanity. Users have been known to couple with anyone and anything, their usual sexual preferences notwithstanding. This is not limited to people, but also includes animals, plants and the occasional mechinical device or piece of furniture.

Immensely dangerous to social mores, MDA-Cubed is also in that class of drugs that is never as good afte the first time – not that this stops chronic users from chasing that high again and again.

Related Drugs: Blue Shock, Communion, Nightmare, Relapse, Slo-Mo, Wings and Zorro.

ORGASMOR

Loki — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 21:30:11 +0000

ORGASMOR is a legal drug which is applied as a lotion. It is reputed to have aphrodisiac and lubricious properties, although these statements are made nowhere in the advertising.

In fact, its chemical properties are not terribly dissimilar to those of Coca Cola, and all the reported results can safely be attributed to the placebo effect.

ORGASMOR is known to exist in most of a cluster of closely-related alternate timelines or eigenstates.

Related drugs: Ex-Tend, FEMFREE, FOREVER and NEURO

Pain

Loki — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 07:30:02 +0000

Made in the depths of Hell from the sufferings of the damned, Pain is a gray powder. It is treated much like snuff by the demons who take it, and usually stored in snuff boxes.

The effects it has on the demonic physiology are as many and as varied as those physiologies, although the two universal constants are that it enhances the pleasure of sex, and that, although it is possible to resist the drug’s effects, it is painful to do so.

When used by the damned themselves, it appears to intensify sensation to a painful degree.

Spanish Fly

Loki — Mon, 02 May 2011 21:30:09 +0000

One of the few placebos ever to be actually to be advertised as being a “Genuine 100% Placebo” – with reference made to the proven medical effect – the Spanish Fly placebo racket was the brainchild of con-man Jack McGreary. Worrying about one’s sexual prowess is a Depression-proof market niche, something that allowed McGreary and his confederates to rake in a massive profit from selling sugar pills all over America in 1939.

In fact, so successful was this racket – even at 1939 US $6.50 for a packet of pills – that the market proved to have room for two higher end placebos, Spurious Spanish Fly ($14 a packet) and Psuedo Spanish Fly ($25 a packet). Aphrodisiacs – even spurious ones – are always in high demand.

Like most good cons – and in a sense, this wasn’t even a con, so long as you were bright enough to look up placebo in the dictionary – it lasted until the con-men got bored with it.

Turgidax

Loki — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 23:30:06 +0000

Turgidax promises the user an overnight tripling of penis size, which is alleged to both improve cardio-vascular health and also sexual attractiveness.

Likely side effects not mentioned by the advertisment include heart palpitations, heightened blood pressure, hypertension, narcolepsy, and having your penis explode like those people’s heads did in “Scanners“.

No, nothing to buy here today.

Just go check out the xkcd site, it’s awesome

Related Drugs: Toxin X-7