We Got It!

From: Hailey Vincent
To: Company Address Book
Date: 1, 12:00
Subject: We Got It!

We got it!

We got it, we got it, we GOT IT!

I’m pleased to announce that the Kliest-Hargraeves Consortium has been awarded a prestigious new contract today. We’re going to be doing the Dristeen Ducal Line project! This is worth billions and billions, and the lion’s share of it is going to be ours.

For those of you who haven’t been following the news: Dristeen is a relatively new planet, out towards the spinwise edge of our galactic arm. The people there recently decided that democracy wasn’t working out for them, and have chosen, in a planet-wide plebiscite, to be ruled by a genetically perfect line of Dukes, who we are going to design and create for them.

I hope you can see why I’m so excited about this – my team and I have spent months working on getting this job for us, and at times, it looked like we’d wasted all that effort. I confess, until last night, I was still worrying that those assholes from Blue Sun would snake it out from under us, but in the end, we were just too good for them.

So, three cheers for us, and a big thank you to all the members of the sales team and everyone else who’s consulted for us in putting together the funkspek. Look for the formal announcement and the signed off version of the funkspek sometime tomorrow.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go take some of that holiday leave I’ve been building up in the three years we’ve been putting this together.

Seeya,
Hails.

Re: We Got It!

From: Greta Kliest
To: Hailey Vincent
Date: 1, 12:03
Subject: Re: We Got It!

Hailey, much as I appreciate and understand your elation and enthusiasm, I really didn’t need you to spam the entire company with this.I recognise that there’s no real harm done, and you’re only anticipating the official announcement by a matter of hours, but please try to keep things a little quieter in future. There is such a thing as industrial espionage, you know.

Okay, now that I’ve got the stern boss bit out of the way, I want to congratulate and thank you for a job well done. Top notch work, and don’t think for a minute it won’t reflected in your Noodlemas bonus this year.

Regards,
Greta

PS – send me a vidcard from wherever you wind up going 🙂

Official Announcement: The Dristeen Ducal Line Project

From: Greta Kliest
To: Company Address Book
Date: 1, 12:08
Subject: Official Announcement: The Dristeen Ducal Line Project

As most of you are probably already aware, earlier today we signed contracts for the Dristeen Ducal Line Project. We have committed to completing this project in the next 12 months. The final, accepted version of the Functional Specification was version 4.03, which will be distributed to you all later on today. Those of you wishing to work on the project should indicate your availability for it after reading the FS. The Project lead designers will be Frank Davis and William Monday, and I will be the Project Manager.

This project represents the single largest undertaking, both in terms of effort and income, that our company has ever undertaken. Let’s give it our absolute best, people.

Greta Kliest.

Re: We Got It!

From: William Monday
To: Frank Davis, Greta Kliest
Date: 1, 12:11
Subject: Re: We Got It!

Okay, just to get it straight, this is not going to another one of those things like the Ruthvenia job is it? Because for all Hailey’s blather about consultation, I still think there’s a better than even chance that the funkspek makes promises we can’t keep.

It’s not at all comforting that the last version of it I saw was the 4.00.  When are we going to get to see this new version?

Billy

Re: Re: We Got It!

From: Frank Davis
To: Greta Kliest, William Monday
Date: 1, 12:14
Subject: Re: Re: We Got It!

I’d like to echo Billy’s points, Greta. I know that after the Ruthvenia fiasco, you took action to bring sales a little more into line with reality, but Hailey has a tendancy to say whatever she has to say in order to get the deal she wants.

Frank

Hols

From: Frank Davis
To: Hailey Vincent
Date: 2, 13:11
Subject: Hols

You might have at least told me you were going…

Just kidding. You earned every minute of this, babe!  I just wish I was going with you, is all.

Have a great time, and I’ll see you when you get back.

Love
Frank

Re: Hols

From: Hailey Vincent
To: Frank Davis
Date: 2, 13:11
Subject: Hols

Sorry hon, I should have said something. I’ve just been working on this for so long, and I was desperate to get away for a while, so when Greta offered me the time, I jumped at it.

I’ll send you a vidcard 🙂

All my love,
Hailey

You’re not serious

From: William Monday
To: Greta Kliest
Date: 2, 13:05
Subject: You’re not serious

Greta, there’s no way we can this done within the timeframe Hailey’s set up with the client. Not unless you want to skip at least two testing cycles – and skipping more than one would be illegal anyway. We’re not the goddam Jacksons, but sometimes I’m not sure that Hails realises that.

I haven’t looked at any of the other paperwork barring the funkspek – do we have any wiggle room?

Billy.

How do you put up with her?

From: William Monday
To: Frank Davis
Date: 2, 13:15
Subject: How do you put up with her?

Have you read this fucking thing? There’s no way we can get all this crap in under deadline. Hell, I think some of it actually breaks physical laws in this universe.

Which leads me to my next question: what universe did you find Hailey in, and why couldn’t you have left her there?

Billy.